Hard Core Gym #61
Polak Made
Last month we visited The Dungeon in Rainbow City, Alabama. We also heard some bad jokes, but we got no complaints. No one was offended, even though I know a bunch of lifters are as thin-skinned as water balloons - ready to whine about ANYTHING. Hmmm. Maybe people just weren't paying close attention. Or maybe the whiners can't read. We need to test this with more offensive jokes.
This month, we'll offend Polish people, and see if anyone complains. Let's begin:
Three travelers, one from India, one a Jew and the third a Polak are having trouble finding a room for the night.
After much searching, they finally find an Inn with only two beds left. The innkeeper offers to let the third one of them sleep in the barn.
They draw straws for the two beds, and the Indian is sent off to the barn for the night.
But within five minutes of the Jew and the Polak turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the Indian.
"I cannot sleep in the barn," says the Indian, "I am Hindu and there is a cow in the barn. Cows are sacred to us so I cannot sleep under the same roof as one."
The Jew volunteers to go to sleep in the barn.
But within five minutes of the Polak and the Indian turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the Jew.
"I can't sleep in the barn either," says the Jew, "there's a pig in the barn, and if I sleep in hay that a pig has touched, I may get some in my mouth and that wouldn't be kosher."
So the Polak ventures out to go to sleep in the barn.
But within five minutes of the Indian and the Jew turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the cow and the pig.
In the words of Larry The Cable Guy; "That's funny, I don't care who you are!" OK, we know they can be funny, but now let's see how Polak's train. Wait! Before you write to complain about my use of the offensive term Polak - be advised that our HardCore Gym of the month is called Polak Made. These guys ain't thin-skinned; heck, they named their gym Polak Made! OK, OK - the owner is named John Polak - but that's even better! He is a real Polak! Kevin Prosser helps him run the gym, and John makes all of the equipment. If you need heavy-duty powerlifting gym equipment; these are the guys. We'll tell you how to contact them in a minute, but for now - I'll just let Kevin tell you about the gym:
This info is for the Polak Made gym in Shepherdstown, WV. My friend John Polak is the owner, and all of the equipment is made by John. We sent you all of the pictures of the gym and of myself flipping the tire. (Very kewl.)
I truly believe that there are two types of gyms. First is the commercial "fitness center" type (the sissy gym). These gyms cater to those who need a social life and who are content to go day after day with little or no results to speak of. Talking on the cell phone and interaction with friends is acceptable. Working with some "pansy" personal trainer who has never been on the powerlifting (platform) or bodybuilding stage, or any stage for that matter is encouraged. Most of these gyms have outlawed the use of chalk, and heavy lifting or banging of weights. Their equipment is dangerous, and cheaply made. John and myself have been told by the owners and managers of these types of gyms that we use(d) their equipment too much (odd huh), and they fear that we may at some point break it (we just might). Our "type" of lifting (hard & heavy) is not allowed in some of these gyms, and frowned upon in others.
The second type of gym is the smaller "hardcore" gym. Guys like "Captain" Kirk, John Shifflett, Louie Simmons, Allen Siegel, and many others lift in or own one of these types of gyms. Whether they choose to lift RAW or assisted, the principle remains the same. The lifters are there to lift hard and heavy, with chalk dust floating in the air. Progress is always being made, with the goal to lift heavier with more intensity each time. The sound of heavy barbells and dumbells hitting the floor is common-place.
Some guys, like the dude that sent in the pictures of naked stiff-legged deadlifts take this "hardcore" thing to the extreme, however as long as I don't have to see it (not allowed in our gym, unless it's a woman) that is ok for him. Progress in strength and endurance are the keys.
John Polak and I (Kevin Prosser) started this "hardcore" gym in May of 2006. It is a 30x30 (2) car garage, located in Shepherdstown, WV. It has a concrete floor, and minimum heat and AC. We opened the gym because of the attitudes of the commercial "fitness" centers and their fear of hardcore lifters. We can play our own style of music, flip tires, hit the heavy bag, use chalk to the extreme, or whatever suits our fancy.
Since John and I manufacture and sell all of our own equipment (www.polakmade.com) our gym is full of hardcore, heavy duty powerlifting equipment. All of the equipment is made to competition specs, and we have weighed and use only competition legal plates and bars. We make Squat Racks, Bench Press, Power Racks, Vertical Leg Press Machines, Pulley Equipment, Sit-Up Benches, and Incline Benches. This equipment is made to be able to handle what a Powerlifter can give it (heavier weights).
Our gym features 2 (main) powerlifters. John Polak is a Master lifter and holds World and American Records in the AAU, ADAU, & 100% RAW. Kevin Prosser (myself) has trained several World & American Record powerlifters and am working to come back after an injury on the powerlifting (platform).
In the 5 months that we have been training there, my lifts have increased by an average of 30%, some even more. The atmosphere is the big thing. You are not bound by (a) gym rule that says you must lift quietly while listing to techno or some other soft jazz.
400 + lb lifts are the norm, and yelling encouragement is part of the training regime.
That is our gym in a nutshell, hope you can enjoy and appreciate.
Kevin Prosser & John Polak (Polak Made Gym and Equipment) 304-876-8232
Way cool, Kevin - sounds great to me! All y'all need now are some more powerlifters, but now that you have a HardCore place for them - they should come!! In the meantime - train some more WV hillbilly folks to lift with y'all at your next meet.
By the way readers, think of Polak Made Gym when y'all see the football movie 'We Are Marshall', because I think that was a West Virginia tragedy to pile on top of their coa mining disasters.
Note to lifters: the Polak Made gym equipment can be found (aptly enough) at www.polakmade.com and it is exactly the kind of serious gym equipment that you would expect from a couple of tire-flipping, sled-dragging heavyweights! The equipment is designed by a structural engineer, so it's not only 'hell-for-stout' but it is well-designed functionally. As John Polak says, "no middle men, buy direct from the manufacturer."
Now, in fairness to Polish lifters everywhere - I better throw in something to offend Rednecks, blonde's, or Catholics, or some other group - so that we mistreat everyone equally. OK, my gf is blonde, and she is very smart (else why would she pick me?) - so I'll throw in this blonde joke:
A blonde was telling a priest a Polak joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"
Next month we'll probably offend more people, so you might as well get over it now. We might also talk about Dinosaurs and/or Gym Etiquette. Both are important, and one might eat you in a dream. Come find out. Until then, lift big and quit whining!
Complaints or requests for Polak Made Equipment: polakmade@aol.com
Article-info or congratulations on my 462.7# B/P: rick@houseofpain.com
Cash and fan-mail: HOUSE OF PAIN, P.O. Box 333, Fate, TX 75087
