Gym Articles

Power B Gym

? POWER B GYM: a dog-eat-dog rathole!?

I love animals, because they are made out of meat. As a carnivore, this appeals to me. They are truly ?meals on wheels? running loose. I imagine the first cavemen, walking the family dog back to the cave ? and then eating it.
Speaking of caves and cavemen, let?s look into the ?Power B? rathole in Washington, Indiana. Last month, I promised you a gym that trains with dogs ? here it is!
Nestled in the rolling hills of southern Indiana in downtown Washington is a gym dedicated to the pursuit of strength enhancement. The gym is actually found in the basement of Glenn ?Power B? Buechlein. The so-called rat-hole facility is frequented by several diehard lifters. Wednesdays and Saturdays are routinely the toughest and most intense workouts. Wednesday is a day of squatting coupled with strongman events in the alley. Curious neighbors often peer through their curtains to catch a glimpse of the psychos flipping tires, racing wheelbarrows, pushing trucks, and cleaning steel logs and kegs filled with water. Many individuals have come to strongman night never to return again. There is always a myriad of excuses, but the bottom line is that they lack heart and perhaps another body part or two. Saturday is devoted to the bench and assorted assistance exercises. The majority of participants are college football players who want to improve their overall strength and conditioning. A new addition to strongman night recently won a strongman competition sponsored by the well - known Evansville, IN gym, The Pit.
The gym itself is like an underground cavern inhabited by troglodytes. The equipment is a collection that has taken a decade or more to compile. Key pieces of equipment include a specially constructed bench-press, a squat rack, reverse hyper, seated chest-supported row machine, and various bars. Other items that are mainstays of training are jumpstretch bands, chains, sandbags, and boards. The gym houses approximately 1500 lbs. of plates. Only the essentials are needed because there is no room for frivolous machines that only take up valuable training space. As many as 8-10 people train at once, so the idea is to not give the slackers any place to rest or to converse about their latest date with their cousin. Also, the music is cranked to ensure limited talking. The music of choice is imported from upper New York State. The master of metal Doug? the AXEMAN? Fortune provides the proper blend of metal mayhem to arouse the senses and increase the lifting juices. Favorites include Six Feet Under, Sepultura, Machinehead, Testament, and Nevermore. Music is a focal point of our workouts because the right choice of tunes is equivalent to any other facet of training. It is all about the mindset and ambiance of the room.
A profile of some regular attendees begins with the owner of Power B?s, Glenn Buechlein. B is the oldest person in the gym at 35. He is mostly a contestant in bench-press meets, but also loves to squat and do strongman type training. His personal best in the bench is a 620 at 233 lbs. Glenn?s cousin Eric Patterson was a frequent guest at the gym until his recent marriage to Nadine and subsequent move to Guatemala. Eric benched over 500 at 220 and totaled 1850 at 220. A long time member at the tender age of 23, Tony Lindauer, has participated bench meets and has benched 400 at 198 lbs. He also is a 500 plus squatter. Dale Jennings has the potential to be a champ after he is done playing around with the pigskin. Dale is only 21 and squats over 500 and benches 350 without the use of equipment at the meager bodyweight of 165 lbs. Dustin Minks lifts in both bench and full meets. He has squatted over 600 and benched in the mid 3?s. A newcomer Jason?Harley? Davison a strength coach from Indiana State University has made a great deal of progress. He benches over 400 and squats in the 600 range. He also won a recent strongman contest mentioned previously. Garett Devers, a recent high school graduate, has made prodigious improvements. He weighs in at 135 lbs., but has pulled close to 400. He squats over 300 and benches 225. Adam ? nighttrain? Lane, another eighteen year old, squats 525 and benches 325. He is preparing to play linebacker at the University of Indianapolis. Tom Brillhart ,a lineman for ISU, has also been a consistent lifter at the facility. He has increased his bench and squat by 30-40 lbs. in just 2 months. There have been many others who have lifted at the subterranean shithole, but their lack of attendance in recent times has caused them to be deleted from the training board and any mention in this article. A schoolteacher named Mike Berry has replaced them in the ?line-up!?
The motto of the gym is Ad Astra Peraspera. It literally means to the stars through hardship. Another belief of the gym is that if you do not want to improve and risk failure then you should not be here. We do not make fun of anyone who lifts hard no matter what the amount of weight. We only chastise individuals who sandbag and strive for mediocrity. Also, a favorite saying is that ?this ain?t the Y! We have a problem with most commercial gyms because of the emphasis on socializing and chrome equipment. A caveat is to prepare for the pre-training rants by the B who believes in numerous conspiracies and who is a proponent of the idea that,? Government is not the solution to problems, they are the problem!? < Rick?s note: Glenn is right! The smaller the government; the freer the people. >
Lastly, if you want to lift at the gym you must be a dog lover. Power B has 3 dogs and they are the owner?s pride and joy. They rule the roost, especially the boxer named Cheyenne.
I asked Glenn if anyone had been attacked by these dogs,
since the only thing better than eating an animal is for the
animal to eat a person. Fortunately, the answer was yes!
The boxer was behind the couch, and he tried to lure her
out with a piece of cheese. Since she was a dog, and not
a mouse, she instead took a chunk out of Glenn?s hand.
Blood was everywhere, and Glenn ?Power B? had to go
the emergency room.
The boxer also bit the neighbor lady, who sometimes defies
Glenn?s warnings and reaches across the fence. Even though
her hand gets snapped by a dog, she is known at the ?cat woman?
since they claim the urban legend about the cat in the microwave
trick started in her kitchen. She is obviously ?toting an empty
gym-bag? since everyone knows you deep-fry a cat.
For all of you P.E.T.A. activists; yes, I have pets. I have 3 kids,
2 dogs, a cat, and a hamster. The hamster looks like a furry
little sausage. We had a lot of other animals, but?better not
tell all that right now.
The matron of metal is Power B?s wife Kelly. She is always positive about the lifting even though some unscrupulous souls are in her humble abode. It is also not uncommon for the crew to pitch in and have a feast after the lifting is done. The grill is usually fired up every other week so the lumbering lummoxes can feed their face and prepare for the next workout. If you are ever in the vicinity give the B a call at 1-812-257-1048 and we will be glad to push some iron with you. By the way, no one pays dues to lift at the gym. B is independently wealthy because of his position as a schoolteacher. Ha!
OK, sports fans: is this a hard-core gym or what? Doesn?t take much money does it? All you whine-bag lifters: take note, and create your own hard-core training spot! Next month, we?ll either go to Rattlesnake Mountain, or go get a tan. (I haven?t decided.)

Comments? rick@houseofpainironwear.com
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